Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Another Seat At The Dinner Table

Is there ever a "good" time to add another child??? The most common answer I get from parents of small children is, "NO". I've always wanted a big family. Four children was my minimum and I really thought I could go for six... or more. At least this is what I wanted when I thought that God understood my plan for my life and I would be getting married in my early twenties and procreating soon after. Well that wasn't exactly how my life played out and I hopped on the motherhood train almost a decade later than I had anticipated. While pregnant with Lydia I was already thinking about how quickly we needed to have another child if I was going to pop out one more kid before having the title "advanced maternal age" unceremoniously slapped on my forehead.

Then came Lydia... this feisty, strong-willed, joyful, ever-energetic little being that makes me so so happy to be a mom - and yet makes me question my ability to be a decent one several times a day. Add to that all her medical issues that require constant vigilance. How could I plan a good time to have another child and make sure I wasn't going to have an infant at the same time Lydia was requiring surgery or some other more acute care. The truth is - I couldn't.  I started to wonder if we'd ever be able to add a second child - forget number three and four. And yet... I couldn't stop thinking about what our family would look like down the road and I just didn't think we were complete.

This summer, due to the wonders of Facebook, I saw that a family friend from California was in town for a few days for her daughter's basketball tournament. By some miracle we worked out a time to meet for a quick lunch. Somehow amidst my precious angel whipping a pizza off the table and getting cheese all over my skirt and then entertaining the other diners on the patio by crawling onto the only empty table and doing a victory dance, I managed to actually hear and remember something this dear woman said to me. She told me how she had her second child while her first child was undergoing treatment for a brain tumor. "We just had him on faith." she said. I pondered that line on the way home. I said it to myself over and over.

Another woman dear to my heart had once told me that when it comes to kids, you don't make decisions based on what your life looks like now (when your kids are little). Instead think about what you want your dinner table to look like down the road and then make your decision. I knew I didn't want just one kid sitting at the table with Joel and me. I wasn't exactly sure what to pray for or what kind of an answer I wanted. I just couldn't figure out a "good" time to have another child and at times I thought I was crazy to add one at all... But I stepped out in faith and somewhere deep in my heart I let God know that I wasn't sure when was a good time or how this would all work out - but I didn't want Lydia to be an only child.

And God answered...

Our son will be joining us some time in May. We are grateful and relieved to report that his little spine is intact and right where it should be. The doctors say everything is looking great so far. We would love it if you would add this little guy to your prayer list just the same. Prayers for his continued health and development and an uneventful delivery would be great! The fact that Lydia requires special care daily makes it really difficult to plan for our boy's arrival - and is causing me no shortage of anxiety. BUT I know that this little guy is God's answer to my heart's cry. He will be faithful to help us work out the details whenever our son makes his appearance. I just wish God would let me in on what that plan is... :)


  1. Happy for all of you. Will be praying. Love Sandy and Mitch Nielsen

  2. Amy!!! This is so amazing!! I am so excited for you and Joel, Lydia is going to be such a sweet big sister:) I love you and miss you!