Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Another Seat At The Dinner Table

Is there ever a "good" time to add another child??? The most common answer I get from parents of small children is, "NO". I've always wanted a big family. Four children was my minimum and I really thought I could go for six... or more. At least this is what I wanted when I thought that God understood my plan for my life and I would be getting married in my early twenties and procreating soon after. Well that wasn't exactly how my life played out and I hopped on the motherhood train almost a decade later than I had anticipated. While pregnant with Lydia I was already thinking about how quickly we needed to have another child if I was going to pop out one more kid before having the title "advanced maternal age" unceremoniously slapped on my forehead.

Then came Lydia... this feisty, strong-willed, joyful, ever-energetic little being that makes me so so happy to be a mom - and yet makes me question my ability to be a decent one several times a day. Add to that all her medical issues that require constant vigilance. How could I plan a good time to have another child and make sure I wasn't going to have an infant at the same time Lydia was requiring surgery or some other more acute care. The truth is - I couldn't.  I started to wonder if we'd ever be able to add a second child - forget number three and four. And yet... I couldn't stop thinking about what our family would look like down the road and I just didn't think we were complete.

This summer, due to the wonders of Facebook, I saw that a family friend from California was in town for a few days for her daughter's basketball tournament. By some miracle we worked out a time to meet for a quick lunch. Somehow amidst my precious angel whipping a pizza off the table and getting cheese all over my skirt and then entertaining the other diners on the patio by crawling onto the only empty table and doing a victory dance, I managed to actually hear and remember something this dear woman said to me. She told me how she had her second child while her first child was undergoing treatment for a brain tumor. "We just had him on faith." she said. I pondered that line on the way home. I said it to myself over and over.

Another woman dear to my heart had once told me that when it comes to kids, you don't make decisions based on what your life looks like now (when your kids are little). Instead think about what you want your dinner table to look like down the road and then make your decision. I knew I didn't want just one kid sitting at the table with Joel and me. I wasn't exactly sure what to pray for or what kind of an answer I wanted. I just couldn't figure out a "good" time to have another child and at times I thought I was crazy to add one at all... But I stepped out in faith and somewhere deep in my heart I let God know that I wasn't sure when was a good time or how this would all work out - but I didn't want Lydia to be an only child.

And God answered...

Our son will be joining us some time in May. We are grateful and relieved to report that his little spine is intact and right where it should be. The doctors say everything is looking great so far. We would love it if you would add this little guy to your prayer list just the same. Prayers for his continued health and development and an uneventful delivery would be great! The fact that Lydia requires special care daily makes it really difficult to plan for our boy's arrival - and is causing me no shortage of anxiety. BUT I know that this little guy is God's answer to my heart's cry. He will be faithful to help us work out the details whenever our son makes his appearance. I just wish God would let me in on what that plan is... :)

Friday, January 1, 2016

New Year 2016!

Happy New Year!


This was us on new year's day two years ago. I was finally getting to hold my baby for the first time. It was AMAZING - and terrifying all at the same time.There was so much uncertainty about the days ahead. The more I tried to read to educate myself, the more the unsettling questions bouncing around my mind increased. Would she be able to... how would we handle...  I felt completely unprepared for all that this precious bundle was bringing my way...


NOW we have a beautiful, crazy, funny, inquisitive, sweet, and very strong-willed two year old. We are so so grateful for how far we have come in our journey these past two years. We haven't always liked the answers to the questions we asked two years ago. But God gives us grace for every step forward - even if we don't see it right away. 


Lydia experiences a full range of emotions every day - and causes her mama to do the same. One minute she is showering me with hugs and kisses because she gets to have raspberries for breakfast, and the next minute she is face down on the floor wailing because I put them on the plate wrong. There is NEVER a dull moment when Lydia is in the room. She makes us laugh a lot - and she seems quite proud of herself for doing so. We are currently working very had on learning to obey. There is a little song we have been working on about obedience that starts out, "O-B-E-Y, obey your mom and dad." Last week she climbed on top of a speaker next to the TV ( a definite no-no) and proceeded to shake her booty while loudly singing, "O-B-E-Y, mom and dad!" What's a mom to do? It was hard work to hold in my laughter while I put her on time out! She can run quite fast and climb onto just about anything. So basically nothing in the house is safe unless it's locked or on top of the fridge. I have to remind myself almost daily, as I am chasing her around and cleaning up messes, just how incredibly thankful I am that her little legs work! Her strong will and sass is beautifully balanced with a sweet side. Lately she has been rubbing my back and telling me, "good girl, mommy." She is quick to say thank you for just about everything. My greatest joy these past two weeks has been watching her enthusiasm for praying. She even lined up her toys and prayed with them! She really is a lot of fun. We love her so so much and can't wait to see what the coming year brings in her little life!

P.S. For those who are inclined to pray for Lydia... She has another UTI. We've had 3 blissful months of being infection free, so it's frustrating to have this creep up again. We spent the first part of her birthday taking her to a clinic to get tested and a good part of this morning trying to get an antibiotic prescription filled. Lydia hasn't been feeling great and having lots of trouble sleeping. Hopefully things will start to turn around now that she is on meds. We are so thankful to live in a place where we have access to the care our girl needs!